I was recently responding to a friend's blog about some of the problems within the gay community, which inspired me to write this blog.
truth is, Ageism is extremely prominent within the gay community. If you are an older man who makes a habit of going to gay bars and clubs, you are thought of as "creepy" by the younger gay crowd. What a shame.
have personally been to clubs where someone who is a bit older was in attendance, and I was shocked by how often I had overheard people saying things like
"look at that old guy over there, I hope he doesn't talk to me". How
rude and snobbish can you be?
It's a fact that within the gay
community there is too much emphasis on superficial matters. This obviously plays
a part in the rampant ageism.
I admit there are some creepy older guys on the prowl for
hookups out there, but they're no different than the younger gay sluts
who are on the prowl as well. It's just that if you're older or considered "ugly", you are creepy. If you are younger and considered attractive, you can engage in this same behavior, and not be considered creepy. Does this sound logical?
Despite that category (hookup prowlers), there are plenty of older gay men who are simply lonely and looking for love just as we young guys are.
Why should they be limited to someone their own age, and why should there be limitations upon where they can and cannot go to socialize or look for love? Love crosses all
spectrums. A lot of older gay men might be "new" and have finally come
out of the closet and are just looking for love and companionship and
don't know where to start other than going to a club and talking to the
majority of who is there: younger gay guys. The younger guys can be
extremely judemental toward older men who are simply looking for the
same things we are.
I've personally spoken with a very nice 62
year old gentleman while at a club. He enjoys going to clubs, he's very "with it" when
it comes to popular culture, and enjoys the music and atmosphere of a
club. He is recently divorced and out of the closet. All he is looking
for some friends and potentially a boyfriend. He said whenever he goes
out, he feels depressed about the fact that no one approaches him, and often if he approaches someone to make
conversation, they don't seem to want to engage in it because of his
age. There is nothing creepy about this man, he is simply a lonely guy in need
of companionship. Yet younger gays think that possessing a sense of youthful style,
hot bodies, and an upper hand on what's in and what isn't makes them too
good even just for a friendship with an older man.
are a lot of young gay guys who are into older guys, "daddies", if you will. These guys look for
older guys to date, and it's generally not considered a problem. But whenever an
older guy looks for younger guys, it's suddenly "creepy" and "wrong". Age is simply a number. If there is attraction, and mutual
interest, why should it matter if a 20 year old is with a 48 year old (or older)?
It saddens me that ageism is still incredibly acceptable in society. I have more to say regarding this subject, but I'll save that for another time.